Before the word becomes flesh…

 

Numbers 23:19

"God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?"

Most of us know the above scripture and when we read it we are immediately encouraged knowing that our God is true indeed to his word. Very comforting actually because it tells us that once God said it, it's just a matter of time and it will definitely happen.  And then the waiting game begins, and your faith and testimony is put to the test. There seems to be a special way one's faith is tested if there ever was an antecedent to it. Especially a negative one. For example, if you have ever invested millions into a business and lost it all in one day because of one reason or the other you will be wary when you are told to invest again.

It happens to the best of us all. A looming disease, a financial crash, divorce etc. The scriptures that you have accumulated over the years could vanish in a split second or if you are strong enough you will remember just the one that is enough to see you through. But then it makes the above scripture worth the test of time

This was me towards the end of the year 2015. The time I became pregnant again and for the second time. I knew the Lord whose name was El-Hanne’eman was the faithful one but if any of you had read that post you will know about the miscarriage that happened earlier. 

So here I was pregnant again. Once more in a foreign country whose language I could hardly speak and what more to check myself into a hospital. Funny huh! Though there was a positive sign on the test script I tried to shield my heart from disappointment by ignoring the possibility that I was pregnant. Even after 3 ultrasounds that told me everything was fine I still braced for impact. Every single ache and bathroom visit was checked and questioned if it was happening all over again. Dr. Google was my friend though it rather compounded my fears instead of making me feel better. At a point I had to put a halt to the fear and take control of my mind and heart.     

Was I doubting? No. Why was I questioning everything then? Because I am fully human, fallible but the only difference was I have been saved by grace. During this time this statement stood out clearly. "Faith is never faith until it has been thoroughly tested and proven". I went into the scriptures to find answers to my dilemma. My favourite was the account between Genesis 12 - Genesis 21

For some reason when Abraham received the promise of a son, it took  6 more chapters to record the birth of that particular son Isaac and a 25 year waiting gap and in between for the word to finally become flesh. And we all know what happened. There had to be mistakes made and veering off the path. But for Sarah, she received the word personally a year before it actually happened and what did she do? She laughed.

Not out of joy one must say but out of unbelief. I could relate to that. I also laughed because for some reason God used men of God to tell me I will conceive and yet month after month I saw and experienced nothing. At least Sarah was told a year by this time she will have a son, I was told nothing just the word “ Lisy will conceive” Or “  I see Lisy giving birth”

And then finally it was actually happening and yet my faith was being threatened. God had fulfilled his promise to me but is he able to see it to the end? What if the same thing happens again. What if I do something stupid and it affects it. Make no mistake, I was happy with the news but the devil was doing what he knew best to do, stealing my joy. It came to a point I couldn’t face buying baby clothes because of a “ what if”  But that was all a lie being spoken to me by the devil. And I am glad i recognised that in time.

My turning point was when I told myself firmly and with all sincerity in my heart, “As surely as Elohim lives, who spoke his word concerning this child i will definitely hold my peace concerning this matter". 

Scriptures tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 "..to demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

As a christian it is important to different between thoughts that are yours and that which originates from the devil. Your battle is lost and won in the mind and whatever you think you are, You actually are! Whoever you believe you are. You are! I began to live each and every single day as I was given, thanking God for strength and grace because his word was growing within me. I write this post in my 37th week of pregnancy to be published later.

This is for all the women out there who for one reason or the other you have lost a pregnancy to stay encourage and to live each day as victorious as you can during another pregnancy.